Suzan married Abdul Qadar, a Burmese
Muslim residing in Maryland. He was a manager of a shoe
company and frequently attended Sunday services in Laurel
Mosque. One day he expressed his difficulties to me. He said,
"I am married to a Christian lady. We are blessed with
twin daughters. I am worried about the future of my children.
I tried my best to bring my wife to this mosque but she
refused totally. What should I do?" I advised him to
bring her to our house for a dinner. She will meet my wife and
would feel more comfortable. This approach worked. Suzan
started coming to the mosque and also started attending adult
sessions for Tafseer of Quran. Few weeks passed very well. One
Sunday I was conducting the Tafseer Session. I gave an
explanation of a few verses of the Quran and then I invited
questions from the participants. Suzan asked a question.
Another gentleman responded even before I could say anything.
To my surprise Suzan started crying bitterly while sitting in
the session. Everybody was confused. Abdul Qadar led her out
of the mosque and drove her home.
Later on I asked Abdul Qadar the reason
for her crying. He said, "Suzan refused to go to mosque
again. She felt that her question had annoyed the person who
answered her with a very serious face. She did not like to
annoy anybody."
To the best of our knowledge and judgement
the respondent was not annoyed. He only had a serious look. I
said to Abdul Qadar, "Please explain to her calmly and
cool mindedly that most people from India and Pakistan have
serious faces.
You can see this at any airport or bus station
or shopping center. This is our cultural drawback." Suzan
gradually digested this idea and after few months returned to
the mosque. She learned more and more about Islam every week.
She found question and answers session very beneficial in
understanding Islamic values and faith. She developed
friendship with many other ladies in the mosque and received
lots of encouragement and respect.
She liked this new way of life and wished
to embrace Islam. I had the honor to make her recite Shahada,
the Islamic pledge. After that she was a Muslima and our
sister. I also performed the Islamic marriage between them in
the mosque the same day. Suzan was enjoying a new life under
the blessings of the Islamic faith.
During the Islamic marriage I explained
them that it was mandatory for the husband to give Mahr to his
wife. It can be in coin or kind. I also reminded them that
Mahr is the personal property of the wife and she can use it
the way she chooses. Husband has no say in it throughout his
life. Abdul Qadar eagerly agreed to pay Mahr. Suzan was amazed
to see the respect accorded to a woman in Islam and the way
her rights were preserved. It definitely strengthened her
Islamic Faith. This situation took place in the State of
Maryland.
It will be very interesting to mention
another similar situation that took place in the state of
Michigan a few years later. As Imam of the Tawheed Mosque, it
was one of my duties to perform marriages in this State. A
Muslim youth requested me to perform his marriage with a lady.
I explained them the rights of men and women in Islam and
about the Mahr. Both of them filled the prescribed forms for
the marriage and the form for payment of Mahr. After that I
asked them if they had any question on their minds before
entering into a marriage bond? The lady said, "I have no
question". The young man said, "I have an important
question to ask you". He said, "I understand that I
am supposed to give her Mahr and that will be exclusively her
personal property. Is she not similarly supposed to give me
Mahr?"
I told him that in Islam the Mahr is for
wife only. He was very much surprised to learn this. The lady
was amazed, like Suzan, to see the dignity and honor accorded
to a woman in Islam. She was also somewhat amused by this
conversation.
She chose to be called Saeeda since she
was very gentle and nice to everybody. She embraced Islam with
clear knowledge, utmost sincerity and full commitment. She
immediately started observing full Islamic dress irrespective
of fear from neighbours and general public. Her daughters were
going to elementary school at that time. She motivated them
and asked them to wear scarf in school in spite of the fact
that the children tried to make fun of them. I told her that
it was not necessary for the young girls for the time being to
face the difficult situation in the school. But Saeeda
emphasised that they should learn and observe Islamic way of
life from their younger age. Saeeda and her two young
daughters dressed in accordance with the Islamic code looked
very outstanding and graceful when seen in shopping center or
other public places.
This was her level of faith and
commitment. Her husband used to laugh at himself. He felt that
we born Muslims take Islam very easy and hence our commitment
is shaky. Abdul-Qadar and Saeeda have a very peaceful and
enviable family life.
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